


Sherlock & the Iodine-Lutetium-Vanadium-Uranium Letter

by ThatMysteryWriter



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen, Love Letters, M/M, Math and Science Metaphors, Pick-Up Lines, Puns & Word Play, Sherlock Holmes and Science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatMysteryWriter/pseuds/ThatMysteryWriter
Summary: Demonstrating that brainy is the new sexy, Sherlock Holmes pens a poetic declaration of his feelings to John Watson-in the way only Sherlock can. . .   The adrenaline pumping through our veins, just the two of us against the world, let us become cosine squared and sin squared - and make one, John...How you fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors. It is as profound as Euler's analogy. Perfect as a golden ratio or the Vitruvian man.





	

_Dear John,_

 

_These days, I often find my mind wandering from my experiments. I find it difficult to pen these words since sentiment has never been my strong suit. If only I could combine romantic verses as easily as I combine chemicals in a flask. Therefore, I shall endeavor to do so in my own manner. Forgive my indelicacy, John, but certain calculations have distracted my mind during my work, and I require your assistance in entangling them. Simply put, I want to explore your mean value. To integrate our curves and increase our volume. To discover our coefficient of friction. To change our potential energy into kinetic energy. To fill our valence shells until they're full. Day and night, you oscillate in my mind palace. Before I met you, my heart was a null set, but now a force greater than gravity attracts my heart to you._

_Yet, your ambiguous words conjures so many -ifs- in my fanciful mind. Oh John...do you realize how you make me search in vain for the implicit -thens\- in these puzzles? Don't you sense this force of tension between us? I think you do.The adrenaline pumping through our veins, just the two of us against the world, let us become cosine squared and sin squared - and make one, John. My fascination for you is like an exponential curve - unbounded, like an endless fractal or limit approaching infinity. Like a monotonically increasing unbounded function, like dividing by zero- you simply cannot define it. Sometimes I regard you as the squareroot of -1 because I question if you are real._

_Oh John, John...how you fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors. It is as profound as Euler's analogy. Perfect as a golden ratio or the Vitruvian man. A 180 angle cannot compare - your aesthetics are equivalent to a 90 degree angle - right in every way. Small wonder you're not comprised of Beryllium, Gold, and Titaniun for your asymptote, among other features of interest, are Be-Au-Ti-ful. Forgive my audacity, John, but perhaps. . . if you integrate my natural log, you'll see for yourself we'd add up better than a Riemann sum._

_So John . . .if your affections are not truly engaged elsewhere, be the variable to my coefficient - and perhaps you'll let me be the cation to your anion?_

_Attractively Yours,_

 

_Sherlock_

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic for this fandom! As a math major, I had way too much fun with this. This started out as a fanfic for something else. But it fit Sherlock so well that I had to tweak it.
> 
> Potential energy (stored energy); Kinetic energy (energy of motion)
> 
> Valence shells: filling orbitals with electrons until they're full.
> 
> cos (x) squared +sin (x) squared = 1
> 
> Square root (-1) = i, or imaginary number.
> 
> Vitruvian man = the aesthetically ideal man with perfect proportions. Refers to Stag Night ep where Sherlock pastes John's face on the Vitruvian man. _Geez, Moffiss _. (Thank you to Rebekah from TJLC for pointing it out ^^)__
> 
> Golden Ratio = gives you beautiful, symmetric mathematical shapes
> 
> Dividing anything by 0 (like 7/0) = undefined 
> 
> Cation = Positively charged ion (John) ; Anion=Negatively charged ion (Sherlock). They attract to form an ionic bond/compound. (Johnlock)
> 
> Also, since the fandom is freaking out over the new trailer, the title of this alludes to Sherlock saying 'I love you.' Just take the chemical symbols of each element and string them together. You get:  
> ..  
> ...  
> ....  
> .....  
> .....  
> ....  
> ...  
> ..  
> I-Lu-V-U <3
> 
> PART 2 of Sherlock's letter to John [Here! ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8937064)


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